Mystery Science Theater 3000 - The Hellcats (1990) Review

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(More customer reviews)This is an earlier episode of MST3K (Season Two), but it is very funny primarily because the movie THE HELLCATS is so bad. The plot is not decipherable, but it involves Ross Hagen (yes, he plays Rommel in THE SIDEHACKERS) trying to avenge his brother's death. He does this by joining a drunken sex orgy held by this group called the Hellcats. This is where the plot stops, and MST3K takes over. I especially liked the song "Mass Confusion," which Crow says "describes the plot." This latest Rhino release is top-notch; however, whoever was in charge of writing the synopsis on the back of the boxcover does not know the difference between Joel and Mike. Joel is the host in this episode but the summary says it is Mike about two or three times. Also, on the front cover, the folks at Rhino failed to edit the cast of The Hellcats, instead using the cast from BLOODLUST! Despite these minor mistakes, the final result is a high-quality tape of a classic television show, Mystery Science Theater 3000. Definitely recommended.

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Mystery Science Theater 3000 - The Crawling Hand (1991) Review

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(More customer reviews)Joel Hodgson has always been embarrassed by his early work. After a few seasons on Comedy Central MST and CO asked that their first year work not be rerun or used for all day marathons. They are the best judges of their work, and if you're not a huge MST3K fan I'd recommend taking their advice.
However, I personally enjoy the early years of MST3K. My personal collection includes taped episodes of the original KTMA channel 23 episodes where Joel and Co got their start.
The jokes are spontaneous, by not having a heavily scripted show one can almost relax a little bit, and see for themselves the .... in all its glory. "The Crawling Hand" is also one of my favorites from the first season due to the epic amount of word play and puns. There are several solid groups of bellyaching laughter when one pun after another after another are delivered by Servo and Crow. I also like the more homey feeling of the visual aspects of the film. I grew up watching MST3K on television with poorer picture quality and I get a bit nostalgic. But like I said earlier, Joel is the best judge of his own work, and if he is unhappy with the earlier episodes, I recommend you take his advice

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MST3K: THE CRAWLING HAND - DVD Movie

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Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Eegah (1988) Review

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(More customer reviews)This DVD from Rhino offers up one the most side-splitting, hilarious episodes of the legendary TV show "Mystery Science Theater 3000," in which they take on a 1962 caveman movie where an awful teen singer, his beehive hair-do girlfriend Roxy, and her fashion-impaired father go searching in the Palm Desert for a caveman named Eegah (played by 7'2" Richard Kiel, who would later plays Jaws in two James Bond films). The movie is horrible, but it'sm the perfect piece of stupidity for the MST3K writers and actors to take on, and the result is one of best episodes ever. This is the kind of episode that will make newcomers fall in love with this brilliant show.
And for those of you who are newcomers: "Mystery Science Theater 3000," (MST3K for short) it is a ninety-minute show featuring a silhouette of a man and two robots (Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot) in movie theater seats projected in front of a bad movie. The hosts provide hysterical, satiric, and culturally-savvy wisecracks to accompany the movie. The episodes also include sketches and songs and add up to some of the most hilarious comedy in television history.
"Eegah!" (what a title!) is from episode #506, during the last days of Joel Hodgson's run as the show's host (Mike Nelson took over in mid-season). The show was at the peak of its comedic genius, and "Eegah!" is one of the masterpieces of the Joel years. The film is utterly cheap, icky and gross, with some of the most repellent actors ever seen on screen...and Richard Kiel! (Bada-boom! Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week!) It ranks with "Manos: The Hands of Fate" for sheer unpleasantness. As Tom Servo says at one point: "I'm being punished for something, I know it. What did I do? I DIDN'T ASK TO SEE THIS MOVIE!"
So what the heck IS this oddly named, nasty little crumb of cummy cinema? "Eegah" was shot in the Palm Desert by Arch W. Hall, Sr., under the pseudonym Nicholas Merriwether. He also plays Mr. Miller, the adult lead, under the name William Watters. He cast his son, Arch Hall Jr., as the romantic teen lead, one of the worst casting choices in history. Kiel may play a big ugly caveman (with an obviously false beard), but Arch Hall Jr. is a pudgy, sun-burnt, gross, greasy, bleached-bond little creep. (In one sketch, Tom and Crow turn Joel in Arch Hall Jr. by giving him the look of a sun-burnt baby, inhuman play-dough colored skin, and mumpy cheeks.) Arch also `sings' a couple of awful tunes while strumming two chords on the guitar -- his dad apparently thought he was an up-and-coming rock star. When Eegah finally decks the kid, you'll cheer along with the MST3K boys as he hits the sand.
But there's so much else that's wonderful here (wonderfully bad, that is) that the hosts' wisecracks never let up: The sickening scene of Roxie shaving her father while singing, the generally wrong relationship between Roxy and her father (were they off-screen lovers?), Arch wandering through the desert endlessly screaming ROXIEEEEEEEE! ("Well, back to another day of whining,"), the dune buggy racing through the desert sands while Roxy screams "Wheeee!" (Tom's comment: "Stop saying `wheee!' Nobody says `wheee!'"), Eegah's minor rampage in Palm Springs, and the classic line that suddenly comes out of nowhere, with nobody on screen seeming to speak it: "Watch out for snakes!" This became an MST3K running gag in many later episodes.
This DVD is a laugh riot, and an essential Joel episode. Tom, Crow, and Joel have rarely been so funny and so sharp while watching a film. It's one of the classics, hysterical from beginning to end, with funny host segments as well. It feels like plunking down on the couch and watching a film with your best buddies; I think that's the main charm of the Joel years of the show.
The Un-cut, un-MST3Ked version of the film is available on the same side as the MST3K episode; I don't recommend watching the film without the MST3K boys -- you'll suffer brain damage. However, this DVD has an interesting extra that shows up on none of the other Rhino MST3K DVDs. You can switch on an option that makes an icon of Crow appear in the corner of the screen during the MST3K version to indicate a place where a scene was cut from the original. If you hit the ENTER key on the DVD remote when the icon is on screen, you'll be branched out to the cut scene, and then returned to the MST3K version when it's over. A very clever feature, and I wish Rhino had taken more creative approaches like this with their other MST3K DVDs.
So, "Watch out for Snakes"...and watch this episode! Newcomer, or old fan, you'll be on the floor laughing (when you aren't averting your eyes from the horror that IS... ARCH HALL JR.!)

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Studio: Wea-des Moines VideoRelease Date: 04/25/2000

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Red Zone Cuba (Mystery Science Theater 3000) (1988) Review

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(More customer reviews)Some important people in Hollywood obviously lost some bets; that is the only way I can possibly rationalize the fact that someone let Coleman Francis write, direct, and star in this incredibly lousy movie. Francis lumbers through this movie like a zombie-a very lazy zombie. His penchant for close-ups is probably explained by a desire to show as little of the set as possible. He doesn't even bother about making smooth transitions between scenes; he just cuts each one off and jumps immediately to the next one. Of course, bad movies make for great Mystery Science Theater 3000 experiments, and this is no exception. While Mike and the Bots add a lot of humor to the viewing of Red Zone Cuba, even they are powerless to mute its incredibly boring and bewildering effects on the viewer. When the best part of the movie is John Carradine's singing, you are in trouble. Carradine also apparently lost a large bet; unlike everyone else in this movie, he at least has at least a semblance of a reputation in the industry, and his "guest appearance" is totally unimportant and generally unexplainable.
Here's what might be the plot if Red Zone Cuba had one. Coleman Francis' character has apparently broken out of prison, and he ends up tagging along with two of the most uninteresting characters you would ever meet. When you are on the outs, running from the law, and in need of money very badly, where do you go? Why, to a secret training camp where a handful of men are planning to invade Cuba and take up where the Bay of Pigs invasion failed, of course. Much to the frustration of our three heroes, they are not actually paid up front the thousand dollars they are expecting, and after training for about a day (it's hard to tell because night and day change continuously and look pretty much alike), they're off to Cuba. For a second, it looks like the invading forces (all seven of them) stand a chance-there can't be more than 10 Cubans there to oppose them (including a fellow with the worst Castro [imitation] beard you will ever want to see). Despite being captured and never attempting to flee through the incredibly big hole in the wall of their "prison," the trio somehow make their way back to the States (presumably, but all of the locations look alike) and try to go legit-the key word here is try.
There are some quite funny bits by the guys on the Satellite of Love. Mike, Crow, and Tom Servo are hilarious as they begin the show pretending to be rich, smarmy, pompous gamblers. Halfway through the movie, Mike begins to think he is Carol Channing, thus providing Crow with a golden opportunity to do his wonderful Carol Channing impersonation. There is a short before the film, but it is quite forgettable; posture was seemingly all the rage in the 1950s, and this little film seems to argue that, when giving a speech, how you look is more important than what you say (let me clarify the fact that this is not the famous "plenty of lip and tongue action" short on how to give a speech). For me, the funniest moment of the whole movie has nothing to do with Mike and the Bots-one of the characters says that his daughter has been blind ever since her husband was killed in the war. What? Oh, man, they just don't write movies like this anymore-or if they do, moviemakers have enough sense not to film them.

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Studio: Wea-des Moines VideoRelease Date: 03/26/2002Run time: 93 minutesRating: Nr

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