The Jewel in the Crown (1984) Review

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(More customer reviews)This DVD set is a real heartbreaker!
The Jewel in the Crown is absolutely one of historic the highlights of "quality" television. An absolutely arresting story. Wonderful script, wonderful acting, etc. I can't add anything on that count to the reviews already here.
That makes the TERRIBLE quality of the DVD transfer all the more disappointing. This set has literally the WORST video quality I have ever seen on a DVD! Murky, muddy picture with visible scratches and dirt on the film. The soundtrack is a little better. On my home theater setup it sounds like its coming over a half-decent clock radio. Seriously, the picture looks like they took an old VHS tape of the show and just ran it through a disc burner.
No, I don't expect blockbuster quality from an 30-year old BBC film, but I would have expected something more like the recent DVD set of Elizabeth R, which is quite watchable.
Sadly, this is almost surely the only DVD we'll ever see of this marvelous series. I'm going to rent the old tapes of this. They might easily be better. If not, I guess this is what we're all stuck with.

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Studio: A&e Home VideoRelease Date: 03/27/2001Run time: 750 minutesRating: Nr

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Mystery Science Theater 3000: Creeping Terror Review

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(More customer reviews)No movie comes close to being as bad as The Creeping Terror.
At many points, it seems as the director refused to shoot scenes more than once. There is a point in which a hair is stuck to the camera, several other major video problems, and several times when the actors fall for no apparant reason.
The whole plot of the movie is the monster going around eating people, most of whom are making out at the time. The monster creeps up to them extremely slowly, none of them attempt to run, and then either the people climb into the monster, or they instantly appear halfway inside of it.
There is basically no dialogue in the movie. Whenever people are talking, the narrator just explains what it is they're talking about.
Most of the scenes in the movie are completely pointless, and some are unrelated to the rest of the movie. While the monster is eating a group of people who are conveniently standing in a corner waiting to be eaten, it for some reason flashes several times to a scene of two men fighting. All of the other scenes are long and unnecessary, and involve people doing very little for several minutes, then getting eaten by the monster.
There are also some things that just don't make sense. At one part, a man suddenly explodes for no apparant reason, and it is not explained later in the movie.
I've seen a lot of MST3K episodes, but none of them come even close to being as funny as The Creeping Terror. Most MST3K movies are boring and have little plot, but this movie is actively horrible, as if the people making it were complete idiots, or just didn't care at all how it would turn out. Mike and the robots don't even have to make that many comments, because the movie is just so amazingly and obviously bad, although the skits are funny as well. I think everyone should see this movie.

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Cats - The Musical (Ultimate Edition) (1998) Review

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(More customer reviews)The `Cats' DVD is a cinematic record of the Andrew Lloyd Webber stage musical as performed on the London stage in, I believe, 1998 starring Elaine Paige in the `lead' role of Grizabella, although the only aspect of her role which warrants calling it the starring role is the fact that this character sings the `show-stopper' song, `Memory' which, if you are to believe writer / director Kevin Smith's bit in `Jersey Girl', has become a real Broadway cliché. The show is the most truly `ensemble' performance I can think of. Few characters stand out for more than the length of a single piece, yet practically all characters are on stage for over 50% of the two-hour performance. Aside from Paige, the only character / actor who is remotely familiar to me is John Mills who is on for but two scenes and who is more of a prop than a character.
I make a strong point of the fact that this is a recording of a stage performance rather than a conversion of the play to a more realistic environment. This conversion is done for most Broadway plays turned into movies, especially for big musicals such as `Oklahoma', `The Sound of Music', `My Fair Lady', and `Chicago'. But this conversion is not always successful. That is, the very big realistic setting is not always an enhancement. My best evidence for this is the film done of `The Fantasticks' with a cast including such high powered talent as Joel Gray and others. As someone how has seen the play done on the live stage three times with three different interpretations, including a performance by the New York City cast, I can say that the movie failed to breath any life into the classic minimalist staging it gets in intimate little theaters. The movie was simply not as good as the live performance. This is clearly not the case with this DVD record. It gives us the stage fantasy that needs practically no embellishment with a real ally or cinematic whiz-bang.
Like `The Fantasticks', I have seen `Cats' on the New York stage sitting in a mezzanine seat about 4 rows from the back of the Winter Garden theatre. And, while there is something about a live performance that simply cannot be recorded, I will say that this DVD (and VCR) recording is quite as good a record as you can get.
My most important criteria for evaluating a movie on DVD or VCR is whether or not the work wears well after the second or third or fourth viewing. For example, `Chicago' was fun to watch once, but I have no burning desire to watch it again. On the other hand, `Singin' in the Rain' I can watch about once a year and still find the time well spent. I will say with great conviction that I can watch this recording of `Cats' once a year and enjoy every minute spend with the experience, because I have done so over the last few years. The performance and its record are so durable that my second most important criteria for a DVD, a good commentary track, becomes unnecessary. And, the commentary track is basically a waste of time for a musical anyway, especially a musical based on famous poems written 65 years ago by the most notable poet, T. S. Eliot in `Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats'.
The play has the thinnest of plots based on a once a year selection of one Jellicle cat to ascend into some state of grace, presumably at the conclusion of their legendary nine (9) lives. The only other plot twist involves the kidnapping of the head cat, Old Deuteronomy, thereby preventing this feline apotheosis from being carried out.
This accounts for four or five out of the nineteen numbers. All the rest are based directly on fourteen out of the fifteen poems in Eliot's little book.
One may think that this work has but a single hit song and, therefore, the remaining musical numbers are second rate. This is certainly not the case. I find myself tapping my toe to all numbers, with especial pleasure coming from `Jellicle Cats', `Mungojerrie and Rumpleteaser', and `The Pekes and the Pollicles'. These are much more like stories in song than a simple ballad with easily remembered refrain.
Very highly recommended for anyone with a taste for musicals and worth a try for anyone who likes fantasy.


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Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Manos, the Hands of Fate (1988) Review

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(More customer reviews)The current wisdom among bad movie buffs is that Ed Wood's "Plan 9 From Outer Space" is the worst movie ever made. Believe me, it's not. And if you don't believe me, then just watch this one. Try it without the MST gang and see if you think "Plan 9" is worse.
"Manos," according to film critic Michael Weldon, was written, produced, directed by its 'star' Hal B. Warren, a fertilizer salesman from El Paso, Texas. The plot, as such, concerns Warren and his family, who become lost while on vacation. They stop at a strange house to ask directions and are met by the weird servant Torgo, who takes them prisoner and helps to make the next 90 minutes only seem like 8 hours.
Even the MST gang had trouble with this one, as most of the good lines and ripostes are in the first half. One can actually feel this movie sucking the life out of the crew. At the end even Dr. Forrester believes he may have went too far. But one redeeming thing came out of this -- the addition of Torgo the pizza delivery man (played by Mike Nelson) to the list of characters that inhabit Deep 13.
The only other caveat I can add is that this movie is for those seasoned MSTies only. If you are new to the MST experience, I would recommend "The Beginning of the End," or "I Accuse My Parents" to get you up to speed before tackling this one.

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Studio: Wea-des Moines VideoRelease Date: 11/20/2001

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Mystery Science Theater 3000 - The Wild World of Batwoman (1988) Review

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(More customer reviews)The MST3k guys do their usual wonderful job of taking an unwatchable movie and making it some of the best entertainment that you'll ever see. The film is absolutely ridiculous and it can't seem to figure out if it wants to be scary, serious, funny or hip. It ends up, of course, not being any of these things.
GASP as a scientist creates an atomic-powered hearing aid! THRILL as the same footage of the villain Rat Fink (yes, the main villain's name is Rat Fink) is used over and over again! SCREAM as the scantily clad extras dance awkwardly with each other (one wonders if they were paid per wiggle)! Where exactly this film went wrong is a question that one could spend many hours pondering, but it's much more fun to just sit back, relax, and watch Mike and the bots suffer through THE WILD WILD WORLD OF BATWOMAN.
This episode also featured the short film, CHEATING. This is perhaps the epitome of every 50's educational short film ever made. To sum it up in words would not do justice to its sheer horribleness. It could cause death by laughter all by itself, but in the hands of the crew of the Satellite of Love, it becomes positively dangerous.
Note: For the very brave, the DVD version of this film also comes with the regular, un-MST3Ked version of the film. I do not recommend activating this feature without a parent, guardian or medical worker present.

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A mad scientist attempts to drive his captive, Mike Nelson, insane by forcing him to watch B-Movies. This episode's feature is "The Wild World of Batwoman" (1966, 70min.) - Batwoman struggles to help her recover a mad scientist's invention, an atomic bomb hearing aid, before the evil villian, Rat Fink, can use it for his own personal agenda.

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