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(More customer reviews)The Sidehackers is the second episode of Season Two of Mystery Science Theater 3000, marking only the second appearance of Kevin Murphy as the voice of Tom Servo and of TV's Frank as Dr. Forrester's sidekick. While it may be a comparatively early show, it feels like vintage MST3K. While it is entertaining and funny, it is by no means a truly spectacular episode, though. Of course, Joel and the Bots didn't have a whole lot to work with in terms of the movie. Ross Hagen is both the star and the producer, and there is a character named Crapout--that's Sidehackers. It is a terrible excuse of a movie; it's depressing, devoid of comedy, cursed with horrible music, and entirely pointless. It starts out with a lot of sidehacking. What is sidehacking? You have a motorcycle with a little sidecar attached to it, only the sidecar is mainly just a platform and a rail. One guy drives, and the sidehacker guy leans and maneuvers to get the motorcycle through the turns with maximum speed. It sounds a little dangerous, doesn't it? I thought so, but there was not one single sidehacking accident in the movie, which I found disappointing. Of course, you can only show guys sidehacking on a little track out in the middle of nowhere for so long, which is why somebody decided to add something resembling a plot to the movie. This guy Rommel (Hagen) is a sidehacker/motorcycle mechanic (who is not new to this "new" sport, however that is possible) who is all set to marry this nice girl Rita. The couple especially enjoys rolling down hills of grass when they are not engaged in the great sport of sidehacking. This weird, hippie-like guy named J.C. brings his bike to Rommel's shop, gets invited to a sidehacking race, loves it (who wouldn't?), and wants Rommel to join his gig riding bikes at fairs. J.C.'s girlfriend takes a shine to Rommel despite the fact that J.C. proves his love to her by slugging her in the gut. When Rommel rather rudely rebuffs this girl's advances, she tells J.C. that Rommel tried to rape her. Did I mention that J.C. has a temper? Even though he talks like Liberace's brother George when he is having one of his episodes, J.C. is a dangerous guy. Let's just say that Rommel's wedding plans are soon scrapped. From this point on, it's all about revenge, fighting, shooting, and (at least for one weird thug character) telling bad jokes badly--sidehacking, sadly, is completely forgotten midway through the film.
Joel and the Bots do have some pretty good material to offer over the inane dialogue of the actual film, and head writer and future host Mike Nelson puts in a great cameo appearance as J.C. from the movie. The guys do a couple of Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin bits--Crow's Dean Martin impersonation is not particularly good, but it never fails to crack me up. There are a plethora of great references to Patton's "I read your book, you magnificent b_____d" quote about a more famous guy named Rommel. They come up with all kinds of cool names for sidehacking maneuvers and even sing a song about this new sport, so sidehacking's demise can't be blamed on them. The Satellite of Love crew, including Gypsy, finish things off with their rendition of the love theme from Sidehackers, "Only Love Pads the Film." Basically, this is your typical MTS3K episode. I wouldn't put it at the top of my list, but it should certainly be on your list somewhere.
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